The Boy, My Son: Part Two

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Following up on the first part of this post, I'd mentioned we'd had a breakthrough. Man, I have been trying to write the most beautifully elegant description but these days I'm just so, so tired. So what happened after the breakthrough?

Metanoia is what happened. Change, growth: less opposition. More communication. More calm than agitation. He'd been asking to go play with friends but he'd not been ready. For the first time in years I was willing to try. We'd tried before in the past. But the underlying tension verging on terror was always there. This time, I was at peace with the decision.

We attended two birthday parties that following Saturday. The first was for a girl my youngest daughter's age. If you've spent any time around girls you know exactly how loud they can be when they are excited. Fortunately he had his brothers and a Star Wars video game to keep him distracted. Not at all bothered. In fact it was the middle brother who lost his chill.

Later that afternoon we drove out to Atoka to celebrate one of my favorite writer/photographers. It was a family friendly affair so there were other kids running around. There was a karaoke machine in one room and a small drum kit in the other. We didn't really know anyone but somehow we found our people and just.... enjoyed it. He began the evening playing on my phone and finally went outside to hang out with the other boys. It had been at least four years since I was able to sit back, relax, and enjoy uninterrupted conversation with other moms. I was so happy I nearly cried.

A tiny seed of hope was planted and began to sprout.

It has been three weeks now and he has continued to grow and bloom. Of course there are still milestones to reach. He has good days and bad days. There has been only one big blow up, but honestly it was because I wasn't picking up on his clues and it became too much for him. Today even his therapist was impressed. She said he is finally beginning to talk more and the atmosphere is much calmer.

That seed of hope has broken through and the bud is seeking the sun.

Our journey is finally beginning again. We've been resting by the side of the road and now our feet are upon it again. Okay now, sweet love. One foot in front of the other. I'll hold your hand until you don't need to feel me quite so close anymore. I'll show you how to push away the darkness. You will teach me how to listen with not only my ears but my eyes as well.

We're going to get there together.

Little boy blue

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